In the Valley of Baca Journal # 26

April 25, 2020: “It’s a God-thing,” my doctor said to me as I sat in her office for a check-up. She was referring to a CT scan that I had had done the day before which had revealed that my cancer was gone (for now, anyway, praise God!), but had also revealed a large blood clot in the largest vein in my abdomen. “Most people that get this never know they have it—they just die!” The timing of the CT scan with the development of the blood clot (which apparently is common with chemotherapy) she felt was too coincidental to be accidental, and was a clear indication of God’s intervention in my life at this time.

“When I look at the way things have developed in your life over the years I have known you, it’s obvious to me that God has a plan for your life!”  Her words came as a comfort to me, as the thought of a deep vein thrombosis, which I had never experienced before, and that could potentially end my life if it were to break loose, was causing me some anxiety. I had prayed and asked the Lord to give me peace about this, and now here it was. This blood clot, she said, now that we knew of it, was treatable with blood thinner. Compared with the recurring cancer, which for now appears to be under control, this is not even in the same league for concern.

So I’m giving thanks for the sign of His continuing care for me—for hearing and answering my prayer as I slid beneath the CT scanner—“Oh Jesus,” I prayed, “please let this cancer be gone!”—and the prayers of so many friends and loved ones who are faithfully lifting my name to the Father. Even my precious little grandchildren tell me that they pray that God will take away my cancer.  The most recent round of chemotherapy is finished, and I have a new lease on life—on this beautiful, grassy green and rainy spring day!

In the Valley of Baca Journal #4

May 19, 2018

Side effects of my chemo treatment are now kicking in. I think it was the steroid I received during treatment that got me through the first day and a half with flying colors. But I have been aching all over now since last evening—feels like when I have the flu. Its’ tolerable, but not very pleasant. At least there’s no nausea—not yet anyway.

May 20, 2018

I slept better last night as the aching has subsided. Each morning I find myself asking the question, “Why am I here?” It’s a question I began asking when I was just a young teen. I had a favorite tree—an old oak tree on the farm where I grew up—and often on a summer day, in my off-time from chores we kids had to do each morning and evening, I would lay on the ground under that tree and look up through the branches at the clouds floating by. “Who is God? Who am I? Why am I here?” were questions that floated through my mind, along with a deep yearning feeling. I know now that it was the Holy Spirit preparing my heart for when Jesus would present Himself to me when I was 15.

Now I’m asking it anew—and I feel now that I know the answer. I am here to know God, to find my life in Him, and to glorify Him with my life. For a while now I’ve been greeting the Lord each morning, saying, “How can I glorify You today, Lord?” With these recent developments, it seems He is showing me a new way to know and glorify Him—in the way of suffering.

 

C.S. Lewis observed, “In commanding us to glorify Him, God is inviting us to enjoy Him.” So here I am, learning about new ways to enjoy Him. And I have found that it is true that worshiping and glorifying God is one of the most enjoyable things there is to do.