In The Valley of Baca Journal #16

Sanibel sunrise 2018October 30, 2018: For some reason I don’t understand entirely, until the wee hours of this morning, I hadn’t been able to ask the Lord to heal me.  But in the dark and quiet of this morning, the prayer bubbled up from deep inside, “O Jesus, please heal me—heal me please!”  All through this day the prayer kept repeating, quietly, urgently—“Please—heal me!”

October 31, 2018: I learned today the results of some genetic testing I had done that I have a “broken gene” and that it may lie at cause of this cancer.

November 9, 2018: I had a surgical repair done 3 days ago of a suture line from my previous surgery—a “wound dehiscence” they called it. I have been feeling quite well ever since and am thankful to God for that.

November 11, 2018: This verse speaks to me today—He will quiet you with His love…” (Zephaniah 3:17) My inner spirit has felt so peaceful and hopeful all the way through this ordeal (once the initial shock had passed)—it has to be from the Lord. I feel confident that I am in the center of His will as I pass through this Valley of Baca.

November 13,2018: “Surely God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation.” (Isaiah 12:2)

November 14,2018: As I am passing through this Valley of Weeping, and making it a “place of springs—of pools of blessings,” I am thinking about how the depth of my trust in the Lord has increased—how my hope in Him has grown—not only for this life, but to think beyond this life—to consider with more seriousness than ever, my hope for the next phase of life—beyond the grave. These are some of the “pools of blessing” in the Valley.

Another pool of blessing has been experiencing the love of so many friends, and of my family, as they have reached out to me and prayed for me.

November 15,2018: “Your God has commanded your strength; O God, display Your might and strengthen what You have wrought for us!” (Ps. 68:28)

Many friends have complimented me on my “strength” as I am going through this trial, but I know that it is God Who has strengthened me, and strengthened my faith, for on my own I would surely have succumbed to fear and sadness and hopelessness.  I am totally dependent on Him for the strength to face this cancer and for the faith He is building in my heart.

“And as your days are, so will your strength, your rest and security be.” ~Deut. 33:25

November 17,2018: “How great You are, O Sovereign Lord! There is no one like You and there is no God but You!”  ~2 Samuel 7:22

The sky was clear this morning while still dark just before dawn, and I stepped outside briefly to look at the stars—they always take my thoughts right to God—how amazing He is that He could create this immense and immeasurably vast and complex universe by speaking it into existence!  I am ever in awe!

And then to think—that He loves me! That He came to earth as a man to give His own human life to pay the ransom for me—for anyone who will believe—so that we can be with Him forever!

“The Lord will be your everlasting Light and your God will be your glory.  ~Isaiah 60:19

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