In the Valley of Baca Journal #10

July 20, 2018: Psalm 40:1,2 is speaking to me today:

“Patiently I waited, expectantly for the Lord. / He listened and heard my cry.

He drew me up out of the horrible pit/ Out of tumult, destruction, miry clay and grit—

Set my feet on a rock –firm, established, definite. / He listened and heard my cry.”

 

July 23,2018: Today is the day before my surgery, and I am praying this prayer with another who was actually walking in the Valley of the Shadow—one who was dying of pancreatic cancer: “We live and pray one day at a time. We pray each day and say, ‘Thank You, God, for the healing You gave me today. Please heal me tomorrow.’ ”

July 25, 2018: First day after—doing tolerably well. There’s pain, but it’s being managed and controlled.

Going into surgery, I felt no anxiety or fear, just very secure in God’s hands and the surgeon’s, and very prayed for. As the nurses were rolling my stretcher into the OR, we passed a large window in the hallway out of which I caught a glimpse of the sky and clouds. The thought struck me (the Holy Spirit so often does this) of how I was in God’s hands, and of all the lovely people (many of whom don’t even know me personally) who were praying for me, especially that morning. The thought brought such a tender feeling followed by tears. As I lay on my back with my ears filling up with tears, (and putting me in mind of the old, funny country song, “I’ve got tears in my ears/ Layin’ on my back/ Cryin’ over you!) my nurses were concerned and were asking if I was all right. And then my dear Dr. Liu saw my tears and took a tissue and wiped them away for me—such compassion is the sign of a really good doctor in my book. That is in addition to her reputation for being one of the best doctors in the country at what she does.

I woke up from the surgery in a lot of pain—apparently the epidural drip pain relief wasn’t kicking in as it should. After a little bit I did get some relief, thankfully.

This first day post-op has been a day of gradual improvement—getting out of bed, walking, eating hospital food…Each time I’m getting up it is getting a little easier.

Feelings of gratitude to the Lord are strong—what a wonderful Savior, Who doesn’t necessarily take us out of our troubles, but goes through them with us. I’m safe with Him, no matter what—and with Him is the most wonderful place to be.

 

July 26, 2018: “I am poor and needy, yet the Lord takes thought for me/ You are my Help and my Deliverer. / O my God, do not tarry!” ~Psalm 40:17

This day was a more difficult day with a lot of stomach discomfort. I was originally planning to go home today, but as it turned out, wasn’t ready yet.

 

July 30,, 2018: This is my 3^rd day at home now, and I’m feeling a bit stronger in some ways. The abdominal swelling has gone down quite a bit and I’m getting up and down more easily. Had a much dreaded vomiting episode yesterday morning, and although it was painful, it wasn’t as bad as I had thought it would be, considering my large incision. On anti-nausea med now that is helping.

 

August 1, 2018: The picture accompanying this post is of a sunrise, not a sunset, and is symbolic to me of the promise and hope for the future that I have in Jesus—for this life and the next.

               

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